Jesse James,

You stupid bastard! You cheated on Sandra Bullock? How in the world could you be so stupid? You are married to one of the most beautiful women on earth. She has a body to die for and her current wealth is shadowed only by Oprah. Your wife recently beat out Julia Roberts as “America’s Sweetheart”. You might also remember, she just won an Oscar and praised you up and down in front of the world while you were porkin’ the skankiest woman on the planet. You really are a piece of work! You are the most hated jackass cheater on the planet. How can you live with yourself? I only have one thing to say to the despicable, miserable, cheating piece of crap that you are: THANKS FOR TAKING  THE HEAT OFF OF ME FOR A WHILE. LET’S DO LUNCH.

Tiger